The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
