Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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