garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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