I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
