But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
