so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Drake has all the answers
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
