What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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