i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
