He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
