what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize