On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
