The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
