census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
