Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
