Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
