i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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