once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
