its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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