White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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