Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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