I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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