a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
