i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
