It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
