We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
