That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
