people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
