Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize