i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
