Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
