Nicole vs. Life
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
