This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
