Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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