Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
