I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
