lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
