You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize