I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
