someone get that fucking seahorse.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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