You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
