It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
