shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
