I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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