So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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