she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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