In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
