I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize