I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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