I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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