Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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