it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
