Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
