Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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