Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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