We need to rekindle our bromance
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize